this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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