It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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