I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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