why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
