also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
