I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
