Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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