I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
