i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You don't make any sense
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