Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
