Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
