This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
