It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
