The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We are two peas in an std pod
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
