apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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