Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
