About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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