arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
