Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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