Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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