I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
