She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
