Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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