This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
