In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
