Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Randomize
