And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
