How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
