Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
