You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize