Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
