Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
