On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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