Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
