New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
