Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
