Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
