come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
