He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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