It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize