Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just puked most of my soul out..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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