i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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