She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my shit smells like andre
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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