Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
