Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
