I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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