the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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