I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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