Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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