Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
