Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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