ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dignity is for republicans.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
