Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
