Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
