Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
