If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
