well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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