its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
