Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We got so high we made milksteak
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Randomize
