It was confusing and full of hummus
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
