Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
