He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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