chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
